8 Simple But Unique Tactics Smart People Use To Influence And Win Others
How to make people say ‘yes’ and follow you?
I was always terrible at dealing with people.
Most of the time I was unable to convey my thoughts. I feared they would judge me. What if I get it wrong? What if no one listens? They will mock me.
Then something ironic happened. The moment I stopped overthinking and started speaking with authority, people followed.
I noticed that the person who makes others agree is not perfect. They are humans like us. The difference is how they behave and position themselves.
Here are 8 proven ways to impact people psychologically and emotionally so that they listen and agree with you every time.
1. Act like they need you. Not you
“People want more of what they can have less of.”
— Cialdini’s Influence Scarcity Principle
Instead of pleading, “Please use my service”
Say “100 people have already joined. Spots are almost gone. If you want you can join us.”
Steve Jobs never begged people to buy Apple products. He said that the iPhone would be available in limited quantities at first.
The result?
People camped outside stores overnight, fearing they might miss out.
Steve positioned Apple as valuable and rare, not desperate.
2. Give attention. Then take it back.
Do you value someone and he take it for granted?
When I go home after many months, I get more attention, which I rarely see in daily life. People value what’s not readily available.
Attention is a currency spend it wisely.
3. Talk about them
The fastest way to win over someone?
Make them feel important. Use their name. Smile gently. Compliment precisely.
Bad: “You’re great.”
Better: “I admire how you handled that client’s objection so calmly.”
Dale Carnegie wrote in his famous book ‘How To Win Friends And Influence people’, “Give honest and sincere appreciation.”
People remember how you make them feel, not the words you say.
4. Win trust and win them
Do you see big personalities sharing simple tips and going viral?
People do crazy things in trust.
Without it, even brilliant ideas fall flat.
My first digital product only got 5 sales despite being packed with value
How will you build trust?
Be consistent. Keep small promises. Admit mistakes fast.
5. Make it feel their own decision
I wanted my Nephew to practice Chess daily.
Instead of saying, “You have to play chess daily”. I said, “ I want you to be the next Chess Master’”.
From the next day, he started practising daily.
Psychologists call it the IKEA effect.
You are not ordering. You are giving them an idea.
6. Don't argue. Present a choice.
Guiding beats grinding.
Don't say “You’re wrong.”
Say: “You’re right. But what if we looked at it this way?”
Statements force. Questions give a choice.
7. Make them say ‘Yes’ 3 times
When someone says ‘Yes’ 3 times they subconsciously say it the fourth time.
Robert Cialdini calls this the “Consistency Principle”.
Example:
“Do you hate your job?”
“Do you want freedom?”
“Would you like a business that pays while you sleep?”
“Do you want me to coach you?”
8. Give, Praise then demand
Humans are wired for reciprocity.
Do a small favour before a big ask.
Example: “You’re the most reliable teammate we have. Can you lead tomorrow’s event?”
When you give first it is difficult for them to refuse.
If you can't do so, appreciate specifically.
Which of these tactics will you try in your next conversation?
Did you already know about any of these?